Letting Go of My Shame

I finally came into Al‑Anon after my second divorce was finalized. I had lost myself in trying to be who I thought my husband wanted me to be, and I was not sure what was wrong with me. Someone suggested that I try Al‑Anon because it might help me learn how to find myself, take care of myself, and stop the cycle of unhealthy behavior. I shared during a meeting that I felt a lot of shame about being divorced twice. After the meeting, people embraced me and let me know I was not the only one who had experienced divorce—even multiple divorces.

Before Al‑Anon, I didn’t know how to avoid obsessive thinking and how to be myself in relationships. Many of my friends in Al‑Anon said that they had experienced the same struggles. More importantly, though, they had overcome those struggles and were living happy and free. I have grown to understand some of my behavior and have begun to change. All of us have one thing in common—we have been affected by another person’s drinking. In my case, it was passed down the line from grandparents to aunts, uncles, and cousins. I am right where I am supposed to be now—at home with a loving family and growing through the fellowship of Al‑Anon.

By Melissa H., Tennessee

The Forum, June 2019

Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA